


Haunted Hayrides

by sherlck (scienceofdeducjohn)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: '''''accidental'''' touching, DGHDA Spookfest, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Halloween, Handholding, M/M, haunted hayrides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 14:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16477457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scienceofdeducjohn/pseuds/sherlck
Summary: “I seriously can’t believe you’ve managed to drag me into this.” Dirk shuddered, giving himself credit for only partly cowering behind Todd as they walked onto the  Seattle Halloween Haunted Hayride Spectacle terrain.---In which Todd takes Dirk on a date without either of them realizing (until they suddenly do).





	Haunted Hayrides

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween, everyone!

“I seriously can’t believe you’ve managed to drag me into this.” Dirk shuddered, giving himself credit for only partly cowering behind Todd as they walked onto the  Seattle Halloween Haunted Hayride Spectacle terrain.

Todd elbowed him, excitement evident in the grin plastered on his face. “Come on, Dirk, this is fun! Amanda and I used to go to the Haunted Hayrides all the time when we were only like ten years old. It’s not that scary.”

“Maybe for you it isn’t.” He muttered, not letting the creepy clown over there out of his sight. “But in case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t react well to scary things. I mean, I can enjoy the occasional thriller now and then or the haunted mansion at the carnival, but clowns? Come on, Todd, even you must admit they are the epitome of all the utterly terrifying creatures to exist on this planet.” He waved his hands around in an effort to convince Todd of this objective truth.

The man in question just shrugged though, mumbling something that was lost in the sound of an ugly scream coming from somewhere behind them. Dirk whipped his head around, but was relieved to see it had been a zombie who was now running away from them. He sighed, letting his eyes travel over the terrain. The area was pretty big; Dirk guessed it could fit approximately two football fields. Or maybe fifty-five. It’s not like he’d ever paid attention to sports, much less football, or, how Todd unfortunately liked to call it, _soccer_. There were all sorts of monsters and villains running around, chasing and scaring as many people as possible. This was made all the more terrible considering it was 10pm and therefore pitch black already, the only source of light the occasional fire basket on the ground and some dim lanterns and fairy lights up in the trees.

“So, what do you wanna do first?” Todd turned to him, “We could get some coffee, watch people get spooked by the entertainers? That’s what me and Amanda always used to do, it’s really funny.”

Dirk pulled a face. “Can we maybe do that later? It’s just, I actually _really_ want to get this ride over with.”

Todd rolled his eyes in that way he did when he wasn’t really annoyed with him, but tried to appear as if he was, anyway -- for reasons beyond Dirk’s comprehension. “Fine.”

Dirk beamed at him, and Todd’s lips started to contort into a smile before he could catch himself. He looked fond, in that moment. Fond of Dirk. Dirk always treasured these moments, tried to mentally download the moment into his memory so he could revisit it anytime he was sad. The memories would always eventually fade, though, much to his chagrin. But then there Todd would be again, showing him how much he actually cared for him in moments he thought Dirk wasn’t looking, and it always made Dirk feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Just like it did now. He smiled even wider. He couldn’t help it, it was like there were two invisible people pulling the corners of his mouth up, which was actually really creepy now that he thought of it. Why were they here, and how were they invisible? He’d once heard something about military planes being able to cloak themselves so they seemed to not be there, so military technology might be one explanation. And –

A heavy weight landed on his shoulder suddenly, making Dirk grab wildly for his friend while screaming at an almost embarrassingly high tone. It was only once he was all but plastered to Todd’s side and his heart was pounding in his ears that he managed to look up. Two red eyes peered back at him, the dude behind the mask poorly imitating his yell before promptly turning around to charge someone else, leaving Dirk shivering.

Todd was silent for a brief moment, eyes wide in surprise, before he burst out in laughter. He felt it reverberating in his chest, still pressed against Dirk’s body. Dirk pouted at him and reluctantly stepped away. “And that’s why I hate going to this kind of stuff.” He fumbled with the edges of his sleeves for a second, looked back up to Todd, and tried to push down the laughter bubbling up. He blamed Todd for this: his laughter always had been so infectious.

“I’m sorry,” Todd said finally, wiping his eyes, “you should have seen yourself. God, Dirk, you actually jumped.”

“Yes, because a literal vampire was attacking me, Todd.”

Todd smiled at him and tugged at his arm. “Let’s go and get tickets.”

 

“Oh God oh God oh God.” Dirk said when they finally sat down in the cart behind the tractor, Todd sipping his beer – he always seemed to have an endless supply of beer stashed away in whatever location they were, but Dirk didn’t comment, too preoccupied with his imminent death by whatever they were about to spring on him. They were sitting directly on the straw covered floor of the improvised vehicle, along with about ten other victims, all giggling and talking nervously among each other.

“It’s going to be okay, Dirk. They never come inside this cart, okay? Trust me, this will be so much fun.”

Dirk nodded, biting his lip, as the tractor pulled the cart into motion. Smoke rose up around them as they entered a gate which Dirk faintly registered had an allusion to Dante’s Inferno painted on top in shaky lettering, doing nothing to soothe his nerves. “I can’t believe I’ve let you talk me into doing this. I’m going to hate you forever for what monsters are going to viciously attack us in there.”

Todd laughed, at which point Dirk noticed this area of the field was completely dark, the only light coming from the headlights of the tractor in front of them. Great.

He was just mentally preparing himself to die here when, barely thirty seconds into the ride, a man jumped out from behind a tree and started chasing them with a chainsaw. Even Todd gulped, and Dirk didn’t even remember whether he let out a sound or not, only dimly registering that he grasped Todd’s loose hand and squeezed it, rather hard. He softened his grip when he realized he was probably hurting his friend, but didn’t let go. He shut his eyes momentarily and imagined Todd’s courage flowing into him via this contact point of skin on skin, fingers pressed against each other, _connected_. He breathed out, feeling a little bit calmer, and held on. And if Todd took offense, he didn’t show it, instead squeezing Dirk’s hand in response when a vampire seemed to appear out of thin air besides the cart a minute later.

They remained that way for the duration of the ride, Dirk inadvertedly scooting closer every time a mothman or a zombie or a ghost scared the living hell out of him, Todd smugly smirking at him every single time. The ride went on for what felt like an eternity, and to Todd’s credit, he was only spooked one more time: at Dirk’s screaming loudly, and unfortunately, directly into his ear as they passed a creepy little girl dressed in all white banging on their side of the cart.

 

“Remember that time I called you brave?” Todd took the coffee and hot cocoa from the bored girl behind the counter and they turned around to watch the other visitors, per his earlier proposal.

Dirk straightened a little at the memory, recalling the pride he’d felt at those words. He nodded. “Of course, Todd.”

“I don’t think you are, anymore.”

Dirk looked perplexed for a second before registering the joke, and rolled his eyes. “Well… Can I tell you a secret? I’d estimate that I am in fact scared about sixty-five percent of the time, I’d maybe even go so far as to say seventy. Yes, I may end up in a lot of very dangerous situations, as a direct result of the universe telling me to go there, but that doesn’t mean I’m this courageous knight. Like Panto, for example. And to be fair, I never claimed to be anything but a disaster in the face of perceived or, which is slightly more often the case, _unperceived_ danger.”

“No.” Todd tilted his head and thought for a second. “So you’re not as brave as I thought. But I guess you’re better than brave.”

Dirk frowned, and stopped his hand in the middle of bringing his steaming hot chocolate to his mouth, cup hanging in the air.

Todd cleared his throat and looked away briefly. This, Dirk had learned, meant that Todd felt embarrassed about what he’d just told him. Interesting. He finally sipped his drink as he waited for him to continue.

“Eh… that is…” He shrugged as if to remind himself there was nothing to do now but push on, “I-I think you’re kind of… a hero.”

Dirk was only just able to repress the urge to spit out the delicious cocoa, and felt a blush rising to his cheeks.

“Like-Like you said, you’re scared but… but you follow the clues of the universe regardless of that. To help people. Like… well, like you helped me, Dirk.”

He felt his lips part in surprise, but he didn’t care, eyes searching Todd’s face to confirm that he was telling the truth. Somewhere behind him, a boy screamed. In front of him, Todd was smiling sheepishly at him. This all felt like such a big moment, Dirk felt like he needed to say something, urgently, to reciprocate somehow, to thank him for this, for being his friend, for everything. “I…” He swallowed, mind utterly blank for once.

“And to be honest, I think you’re a hero for doing that. For pressing on, always, despite everything, despite police and Blackwing and… and despite me.” Todd let out a shaky breath and looked down into his coffee. “God, this is so lame. But I… I needed to let it out. I guess.”

“No…” Dirk shook his head, needing Todd to look at him. “No, Todd, it’s amazing, it’s wonderful, I—” And Todd still wasn’t looking at him, why wasn’t he looking? Before he could think anything of it, he reached out and gently touched the crook of his neck. It worked; Todd looked up as if burnt, so he pulled it away again. “Just-- Thank you, Todd. That’s. Well, no one’s ever said that about me before, and I certainly had never expected to hear it from anyone, and it just means a lot to me that you think that about me. It really does.”

Todd nodded, as if to confirm his words. “Well, you deserve it, Dirk.”

He smiled, one of his trademark beaming smiles probably, but he didn’t care. Here was his best friend in the whole world, telling him he was a hero and meaning it, right in front of him. He wanted to treasure this moment forever, the way he was feeling a little fuzzy and warm inside.

“God this is so sappy.”

“I for one, happen to love sappy.”

Todd finished his coffee, crumpled up his cup and threw it in a nearby trashcan. “No I swear, it’s like some scene right out of one of those God-awful trashy romance novels you keep stashed in your secret drawer.”

Dirk’s inhaled sharply. “ _You know about those_? I- I mean those aren’t mine!” He stammered, knowing full well he couldn’t lie if his life depended on it. “Wait a second,” He added, when his mind caught up to Todd’s words, a truly very wonderful thought springing to mind, “You think we’re in a _romance_ novel?”

Todd seemed to spontaneously choke on his spit at his words, a faint blush rushing to his neck. “I- uh, no I didn’t. W-what?”

“Todd…” And something new dawned on him, then. He’d invited him to go to the Haunted Hayrides, so it would be just the two of them, without Amanda or Farah or anyone else. They’d had drink together and had talked, had even actually held hands. It’s not like Dirk had been doing research on the topic recently, not at all, but yet he couldn’t help but consider the possibility that… “Is this… a date?”

And now Todd’s blush reached the tips of his ears, and Dirk wanted to kiss it away. “Well, I hadn’t really thought about it, you know, but er—well, now that you say it like that…” Dirk could see the exact moment Todd decided to give up; his shoulders sagged and eyebrows creased, and he sighed. “It does kind of look like it might be a date, huh?”

Dirk met his eyes, took a deep breath and offered, in a small voice, “Just to be honest, I wouldn’t particularly mind? If it was a date, that is?”

It took Todd a moment to take that in, he could see it by the way his eyes grew a little wide and he bit his lip and worried it between his teeth. “Okay.” He nodded, repeating after a few seconds, “Okay. So you wouldn’t mind if I did this?” And he took a step forward, lightly touching Dirk’s arm and sending his heart rate skyrocketing.

Dirk breathlessly shook his head again, being unable to stop himself from leaning forward.

“And what about…this?”

And Todd kissed him. Todd kissed him! Tod was currently kissing Dirk Gently and making his lips tingle and heart burst with excitement. When Todd pulled away again, he felt a little dizzy and grabbed Todd’s arm for support. He wanted to say something, to comment on being kissed by the person he’d never thought would ever kiss him, and it feeling like the best thing that had ever happened to him, but it was too complicated to put into words. So he just said, with as much feeling as possible, “Wow.”

“I… Same.” Todd chuckled, rubbing his neck with one hand. “So… that just happened.”

“It did. It really did. And it was so _amazing_.” Dirk needed desperately for Todd to know that, “Can you do it again, please?”

 

“So, do you still hate me for dragging you into this?”

They were walking towards the exit, hand in hand, because Dirk had insisted on it and Todd had immediately approved. It made him feel rather invincible, like none of the monsters running around could scare him anymore. He liked the feeling.

“Yes.” Dirk stubbornly stuck his chin out.

“Really? Okay, well I guess this is over.” He disentangled their fingers, and started to move away from him. The bastard.

“Wait, no Todd, okay, _fine_. I absolutely loved every second of it and I’m so grateful you took me to be scared to literal death.”

Todd snorted. “Are you trying to be sarcastic? I thought that was my thing.”

Dirk finally caught Todd’s hand again, and giggled at him. He couldn’t help it; there were all these emotions inside him and all these butterflies making his chest all tingly and warm inside. “Pray tell me Todd, what’s my thing then?”

“That’s easy. You’re a hero.”

Dirk was for once grateful for the dark as he felt that familiar blush again. “A frightened hero.” He allowed.

Todd stood up on his toes to kiss his cheek, and said simply, “Just how I like ‘em.”


End file.
